New Drive-threw Cash Machines

[Guest rizla]

so true,its scary

 

 

A bank recently installed a series of drive-through ATM machines that allow customers to draw money without leaving the safety of their vehicles. In order to avoid any confusion, the bank posted instructions to all of its clients so that when they make use of these new, convenient ATM facilities, they will know exactly what to do.

 

For ease of reference, the instructions were split between male and female:

 

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS

 

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Wind up window.

7. Drive off.

 

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS

 

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Reverse a bit to align car window with cash machine.

3. Restart the stalled engine.

4. Wind down the window.

5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.

6. Turn the radio down.

7. Attempt to insert card into machine.

8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from car.

9. Insert card.

10. Re-insert card the right way up.

11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written on the inside back page.

12. Enter PIN.

13. Press 'Cancel' and re-enter correct PIN.

14. Enter amount of cash required.

15. Check make up in rear view mirror.

16. Retrieve cash and receipt.

17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.

19. Re-check make up.

20. Drive forward two metres

21. Reverse back to cash machine.

22. Retrieve card.

23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder and place card inside.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Drive for 2 or 3 miles.

26. Release hand brake.

[Guest Dredd]

er, my missus cant wait to meet you

[Guest rizla]

my missus has been gone 3 hours,she only went out to get a tenner

[Guest Dredd]

You sure she hasn't gone to find a tenor?

[Guest lynn]

nice one, my missus ran our car out of petrol, so when i proceeded to pour in a gallon of the necter that makes them go, she said, you think your so f.... clever, just by pouring that in,. it will go now. YOUVE DONE SOMETHING TO THAT CAR

[Guest Bob's Babe]

Ha ha ha ha!!!!

 

I know a man that couldn't get his car to start for about 2 weeks, killed a petrol pump and asked on here for advice before ME (A WOMAN) asked if it had any petrol. So please don't band us all together.

 

He can't help it either bless him!!

 

SUE

 

ps: good joke tho

[Guest lynn]

sorry sue,but if you said to my misses, youve ripped the wall out of that tyre, she thinks you have to get a brickie to repair it, three-one, more like four by two , two short lengths