Bmw

[Guest Ian & Carole]

A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver....

"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3).

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving license, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "

 

[Guest 2b cruising]

I thought white vans owned the outside lane though.

Must have been on a northern motorway because bmw's would just get shunted of by our European friends here in Kent.

Some of them do have a bit of writing on the side though.

Yodel or global, something like that.

Edited July 7, 2016 by 2b cruising

[alantoon]

So funny, up here it's the Audi drivers that own all the roads. car parks, bus lanes and 70% of all footpaths.

[agent_zed]

well it certainly wasn't my bmw as that is currently on my drive with both rear brake lines cut (failed mot on corrosion both sides) waiting for my brother to turn up with the new flaring tool as mine broke this morning still i did manage to change both anti-roll bar linkages and a worn front flexible hose on the front.

 

Still haven't cured the stupid rude word oil leak from the rocker cover despite a new gasket, which still leaked and then the new gasket and some rtv silicone which still leaks. at least that is not an mot failure though.

[megadodo]

Leaky BMW rocker cover leaks can be fun, shouldn't need any gasket sealant except at the corner of the half moon cutouts. However you must change the rubber washers that fit around the bolts as well as the main gasket and plug rings. I do tend to use a smear of sealant on the exhaust side on my own BMWs though. Check the cover isn't cracked as they can have a hairline one which can be difficult to see. Also the oil recovery system is blocked you can get crankcase pressure lifting the rocker cover up!

[agent_zed]

thanks will check for pressure out the cap and have another look for a crack. passed mot at least

[maccavvy]

What engine and car model agent z ??

[agent_zed]

its the bmw 316ti E46. 2003. it's the 1.8, which i always found odd they called it the 316?!

[maccavvy]

8 valve ..so no plug holes to leak from.

Fit a dealer gasket..I had issues with aftermarket ones.

[agent_zed]

might have to.they are just so expensive though for a bit of rubber.

[maccavvy]

best dealer are through bmwowner forum.

they have a dealer site sponsor.