A Story In Words And Pictures

[steve in stockport]

Well today was one of those rare days when the wife was off work at the same time as i was.

So what should we do?

Go for a blast in the hood, mmm

Spend all day in bed getting hot and bothered, mmmmm

 

Err NO!!!

 

Lets go to the Trafford Centre and do some christmas shopping, she says

 

So off we went, and cos i promised to be a good boy i was allowed to keep my shoe laces and belt which would have aided my attempts at escape/suicide if the going got too tough.

 

Anyway i need not have worried as my eyes fell upon some bright toys and a plan for a story came to mind.

So while the perfumed ayotollah was busy buying a new frock i was taking pictures of kids toys to bring you this little tale.

 

If you're sitting comfortably, then i'll begin.

 

One fine day, Sheeny was out for a drive in his concours Moss

 

he was rattling round some country lanes when he met Big Jim, who was out testing his WW2 motorcycle that he had fitted a sidecar to

 

they decided to carry on together, and would rely on 'Gertie', Jim's PAT nav to lead them down little lanes from one cow pat to another!

Suddenly Sheeny pulled over and stopped.

'whats up?' asked Jim

'i dont know, she's just not running right' said Sheeny and whipped up the bonnet

 

Just at that moment Enforcer, who was thrashing a new traffic car at over 300mph getting used to the handling,came along and screeched to a halt.

'Hello, hello' he said.

He only said it twice cos there was only two of them 'whats going on ere then?'

'Well we were out for a drive and now my concours Moss is playing up. i dont understand it cos everything was fine so we went to the

to fill up so we could carry on our drive , and she started to run rough after that.'

'Sounds to me like you've had an

moment' said Enforcer.

'ROUND SPHERICAL OBJECTS SHEENY' grumbled Jim

'But it can happen to anyone' replied Sheeny

 

'Never mind, i'll get on my radio and sort it out ' says Enforcer

and he calls for the man in the truck with the yellow flashing lights

 

Soon the nice man arrives and using his bestest tool set

he fixes things and sends our friends on their merry way.

 

What a happy ending

 

 

no offence intended, none of the events portrayed took place except in my head to relieve the pain of shopping.

 

And yes dear the frock looks lovely

[Les Welsher]

Steve, that's brilliant

[Guest red7]

Excellent Now where's the kids old Barbie, Action man and farm yard animals for "NW Hoodies go to Wales"

[Mitch]

oh dear thats another on the "hit list", suppose it takes the heat off me,

 

excellent Steve,

 

Mitch

[Guest tom2b]

Lol that was class

[Snapperpaul]

You poor, poor man, you have been sent completely mad by the torture that is shopping. I now only go to Lakeside if i can be dropped off at my mates kart track however the down side is that i have to part with the plastic first.

[enforcer]

 

What about this fella then Steve?

 

And why was Hitler driving the police car?

 

I think we should be told.

 

Bloody silly place for a gear stick. Probably a Richard Stewart mod

[will]

Brilliant

[Guest rimexboy]

fantstic i feel sleepy now so off to bed now, what time is tomorrows story at pmsl

[steve in stockport]

absolute super hero - the best of the best

 

didn't notice Hitler was driving the car, i was too busy trying not to get rumbled by the shop assistants while i was taking dodgy photos of kids toys!!

 

any way aren't all traffic bobbies li.....

err no lets not go there

 

or maybe Hitler came over with Hess in 1940 and when Hess got caught he went to ground in Greendale and got a job with the local constabulary,where he reports to sturmbannfuhrer Bormann on jackknifed sheep blocking the lanes

[enforcer]

Now you're scaring me

[steve in stockport]

sorry its just a side effect of forced shopping in an air conditioned environment, but dont worry am being force fed belgian truffles and white wine and normal service will resume shortly.

 

thankfully i return to the sanctuary of the fire station tomorrow where further therapy and male bonding should see a full recovery

[Dave R]

havent laughed so hard in ages

[Guest salty_monk]

Peter should copy that into the mag as a comic strip...

 

Dan

[BigLee]

Excellent - just showed this to Sheeny tonight in the pub at our Monthly meeting. He thinking of getting himself down to Toys r Us!!!! for a replica of his Moss!