Junk Mail

[Guest micky bigthumbs]

I thought No 3 is good

 

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

 

Three Little Words That Work !

(1)The three little words are: "Hold On please..."

 

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

 

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

 

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

 

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

 

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

 

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

 

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

 

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

 

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

 

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 24p postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

 

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 29p before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in their postage-paid return envelopes.

 

For example; send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 24p.

 

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

 

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea ?

 

If enough people follow these tips, it will work !

 

THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

[Guest crwoodford]

Top Advice Micky, I have two already enveloped up from today ready to go in the post box tomorrow!!

Nice one

Cheers

Col (Taunton)

[Guest Bazwaz]

I usually put the phone next to the telly and let them listen to coronation st

Barry

[Guest Battery Bill]

I have some Ink stamps that I got as presents they read:

 

(1) staple this to your face

(2) Complete and utter Bullsh1t

(3) I havnt got time to read this Cr*p

 

I stamp the junk mail and save it up and post it all at once into a postbox

 

I bet it p155es off the postman having to take it all back

[Guest stu205]

have to admit to doing 1 and 3 already 2 sounds interestind but you can always register with the TPS and you dont get telemarketing calls anyway

 

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

[Mitch]

the third one, when i get two credit card applicatons, i send them back to to each other, ie, put barcley cards application in American express and vice versa, funny how i have not had any more from the two i returned

Always put something with your address in, and they will stop sending tem to you

 

Mitch

[Guest Guy]

I have done #3 many times

 

I recently got a call from an automated system saying that if I would like to buy then say 'yes' or 'no' to the following questions, so I said 'BU@@ER OFF' to every one they asked me to repeat it many times as the machine could not understand my answer. Eventually it gave up

[Knock-on]

What a moaning, cynical, mean minded bunch of grumpy old gits you lot are.

 

It's not surprising I fitted in here so well

 

I have been guilty of just throwing the junk mail away and apologise profusely. My mission from now on is to create ever more ingenious ways to hamper the senders.

 

I need to know that if you have a reply paid letter from a company with a beautiful first class frank on it, can I readdress it to a different address? I'll never have to buy a stamp again.

 

Second, if it has a first class frank and the package weighs slightly more than a first class letter, will they still get charged? I have a couple of tons of rubble that I need to shift so I thought I could get rid of it, one brick at a time.

 

Advice please!!

[Guest tom2b]

I think if its over weight for the stamp the receiver has to pay the difference and a £1. If you receive a letter with no stamp on you get changed for what the stamp would have cost and £1 on top. So the morale of this is, if the return envelope has no stamp on it EVEN BETTER!

[Guest megablade]

I hang my head in shame for never even considering returning their crap

 

However, I will now make up for lost time by returning it all If enough people do it they just might get the message. Also, it might be a way of getting rid of all the cat s**t that finds its way into my garden

[Guest Guy]

Now we know what to do with all those offcuts of stainless steel