Pope Joke

[Guest Angel Boy]

Hope you like this, it made me chuckle:

 

After getting all Pope John-Paul II's luggage loaded in the limo (and His Holiness doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

 

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105mph.

 

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh,wonderful. Now I'm really gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

 

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the patrolman approaches, but the cop takes one look at him,

goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that - he's really important," said the cop.

"All the more reason."

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

"What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"

"Bigger."

"The Governor?"

"Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

"I think it's God!"

"What makes you think it's God?"

"He's got the Pope driving for Him!"

 

 

Andy

[Guest Mr Pid]

Very good

 

Heres one that me laugh:

 

A guy walks into a pub followed by three ducks.

 

now the barman knows better that to ask the customers about their pets and the company they keep so doesnt say a word.

 

after some time the guy goes off to the toilet and the barman's curiosity gets the better of him and he turns to the first duck.

 

"Whats your name then?"-he says

"Oh Im Huey"- says the duck

"Ok- how your day been?"-says the barman

"Oh brilliant"- says the duck- "ive been in and out of puddles all day, ive have loads of fun!"

"Nice"- says the barman, he then turns to the second duck-

"Whats your name then"- he says

"Oh im Luey"- says the duck

"Oh, and how has your day been"- says the barman

"Oh brilliant just the same as Huey's ive been in and out of puddles all day as well, had a whale of a time, in fact if i could do it all again tomorrow i would!"-says the duck.

The barman then turns to the last duck and says- "you must Duey then?!"

"No!" says the duck- "Im Puddles and dont you dare ask how my day has been!"