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About Chris.A.

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    Cartoon man! (Not physically... well a bit!)
  • Birthday 02/11/1956

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    ser 1 ZINTECH
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    self abuse in the absence of anyone else
  1. Chris.A.


    .......... sounds fair !......
  2. Chris.A.


    :gdit: Hi. I am Mrs. CHRIS.A. (well ,other members wives get their "lbs" worth !......shut your gob,Chris!...by entering insertions in their husdbands private places...so why should I miss out? ) Leave BIG JIM alone ! ! ! ! :angry: he is a sensetive,caring, educated and sensual sex machine.( don`t worry MATT, you are allusinating because you are so poorly, this isn`t really happening.) Really *bleep* off with Chris, ..at the moment,.....he keeps talking in his sleep about ....."LOUISE"....who the hell is he? :gdit: :gdit: :gdit: .I digress, Jim is not a big ugly northern gett, .but a little floppy bunny! ....if you "LOCK" him, I will leave you ! Chris....I mean it !!!!!!!!!:angry: :angry:
  3. Chris.A.


    What have I said? ........you " miserable old Ba*****" ! ............O.K. Lads,.....I am a "MODERATOR" .....should I "Lock" ..HIM? ( just to get your own back........eh?........let me know!!!!!!!)
  4. Chris.A.


    I have read all these posts. And they say men are NOT romantic. Somehow , there is a direct link to the ROBIN HOOD ( I am not clever enough to put it into words, but there is.) If we all abandoned big old birds who were a drain on our finances, we would all be single there is more to life than logic and common sense
  6. I Know wot you mean, MATT. Week before last I was at work in my van and had to pull up . I saw the most wonderfull siegth ! (no not another corting couple at it ) but a LANCASTER , THE Lancaster .It was coming into land at Barkston Heath ! ! ! I jumped out the van and watched her come in, the sound, the impression that I could reach out and touch her, she didn`t look to be going fast enough to stay airborn! the hairs on the back of my thing stood on end! There are many things that can bring a man to tears, a fridge full of beer, a baby being born and the sieght of such a wanderful aeroplane coming into land!! ( am I going soft or wot????)
  7. Chris.A.


    well, the first thing I thought when I admired the backend of the RAVER at Donnington was, I could give this the seeing to it deserves if JIM doesn`t get there first! so , if they bought one would they be "HOODIES" ? or something else? especialy if they like the big lump in the back instead of the front! personally, ( sorry,.....I just laught then....)personally I think transverse ,rear option is the best thing for Richard Stuart . ( I`m not being rude ,mate, honest.) ( I sent him a load of bumf and ideas about 2 years ago......Gena,God bless her wrote back saying that Richard did not take me seriously......) xverse rear power unit HAS to be the way to go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry lads but I guess shes gotta take it from behind.
  8. hang-on a minute.......... lets get this right........ you have just been playing with your new nail gun......slammin nails into every wall and floorboard you can find then you winge to us that your electricity has mysteriously gown owf if you buy a pair of those glasses with lights on `em ( page 34) and go to page 316 of your catologue ( it`s been nailed to the ceiling rose ..you twit) there is a couple of lovely Honda generators!! :angry: if you had only picked up the phone (...oh no, some wazzuk has nailed the bugger to the coffee table....)you could have had a gennie on your doorstep this morning and no further problems!! :angry: ( how on earth does Emma put up with you?)just don`t fit a wall safe what ever you do!(story on a previous post).
  9. sorry to hear about your "...powervert.." spelling error? (what have you just had? but Screwfix and such like are fantastic reads (I feel like an old lady when reading those sorts of mags..........well anytime actually)but I`m the same if I come across a PROPPER hardware store!!you know (JIM) the old fasioned ones with every thing in the universe inside.Conversly, (yeh, I know Matt, but it makes anything I say sound intellegent) Conversely I get great pleasure from reading other sorts of magazines and catologues. (...shut your face...) you know the junky easyclean/handystuff type. the sort that advertise that one big slipper or commodes( for gawd sake who would actually..and descreatly..use one of those in your own lounge?? or is that the point...take it to a friends? it`s gotta be better to use a toilet ennit? Jim?)and the folding walking stick?????( bet oldgit pete`s got one)how much more compact is a stick for goodness sake? and the last thing you want,should you need a stick, is for it to be collapsable!!! at any minute,ordinary sticks do not malfunction!it`s hillarious! wot was you talking about, oh yer, thanks for the tip!!!!!
  10. I can see the advert now. " Clean your windows with Crap" same principle,really, smear "Crap" all over it, wait till it goes crusty, then rub it off and the stains `n` stuff come away with it AND it `ll keep the flies out the kitchen! seriously tho, how about silicon products? if sprayed on won`t it stop staining `````n` stuff `cause it`s even slippier than Jim`s product? An old wives tale,or tip thing is to use newspaper on windows with either vinigar or just water(works,tried it) suppose it depends which news paper you use though???????
  11. don`t encourage him, MICK, that was very mild and subtle for the clubs "DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDANT" P.S. MICK....is the club covered if Mr.Windowlene sues? (...or Mr. Crap, of course)
  12. ......then there was the time I was manouvering the Robin Hood in my really tight drive,trying to get it into my prefab garage. It is difficult to gage where the near side,rear, wing is in confined spaces but the front wheel can be just as tric ky.I hit the garage doorpost with the front nearside wheel.No damage was done,except for me! You see I always have a pencil in the top pocket of my overhauls and....you guessed it.... when my head jolted forward the pencil rammed straight up me nose ole! With blood gushing from me conk I raced indoors to Mam and asked her if there would be any lasting damage. She said," No, love, don`t worry.....if you sharpen it, it will be every bit as good as it was before!" Why do wives think that it is hillarious when there Hoodie husdbands hurt themselves,....eh?
  13. there are loads of dangers when pushing or even manouvering the kit in confined driveways......... my little drive slopes toward the house and I`ve slipped,before now on the green concrete, infront of the back wheel and the Robin Hood has pinned me to the floor,(using me as a scotch)...was there for what felt like hours till Mam came home from shopping. managed to have a descreet wee under the chasis in the meantime, (just one of the experiences,not to be missed as part of HOODISM).
  14. Dear, "Bugsy" .....(is that northern ryhming slang for summot?) I have been watching this string for some time and am getting a bit confused. So , you are getting married,right? and need a video..............(?) What, already? don`t worry, my child, it will all come naturally. just get dirty ,struggle,and(if you`re like me ,) hurt yourself abit, don`t be apprehensive (translation= fritt),fulfilment will come in floods and spirts. You have taken the first and hardest step, Bugsy, you CAN do it! ( I did once....and I am a pratt) you`ll walk it!!!!!!!!! good luck,and remember, just ask Big Jim if you need advice,(about Kit Cars,that is.....for Gawds sake don`t ask him about marriage!) incidentally, MATT, wish to F<<<<<TEXT REMOVED/EDITED BY "Chris.A".>>>>> I had learnt how to edit stuff afew F<<<<TEXT REMOVED/EDITED BY"Chris.A">>>weeks ago! What a C<<<<TEXT REMOVED/EDITED BY"Chris.A">>> I am? go for it BUGSY ! Don`t doubt yourself,mate! her indoors would only waste the money on curtains,food or summot daft!
  15. Chris.A.


    take my advice......yes, I know I`m a pillock, but listen, My eldest lad boght some FOX wheels from Halfords ( I can`t afford such things.....I haven`t got a student card!). He didn`t want anyone to nick-em,so he invested in a set of security nuts. :angry: DO NOT< UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BUY AND FIT SUCH AN INSTRUMENT OF THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!! :angry: after he had taken his car to the garage for a service and MOT he decided to rotate his wheels (front - t- back - back - to front....know wot I mean?) the gimp at the garage had cracked up his security nuts with a pnumatic hammer!!! TWONK! the wheel nuts are supposed to be tightened up to 85 gruntmeters , according to Haynes, these were 120 !!!!! and YES the little dimples on the key sheared on the first wheel!! I warned my lad that his posh allies might have to be burnt off. ( I am sure he would rather have lost his testicals).But he stopped crying when I fettled a new key with a book of common prayer(as opposed to posh)and amazing technical ability,( I can enlarge if you want....as the bishop said). a near do! DO NOT FIT SECURITY NUTS!!!! let em have your wheels if they`re that despirate.
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