Long Joke

[Guest Ian & Carole]

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.

 

It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.

 

Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the

occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.

 

Then suddenly he heard a strange noise......

 

BUMP........

 

BUMP.......

 

BUMP........

 

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.

 

BUMP........

 

BUMP........

 

BUMP........

 

He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached

from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....

It was a coffin

Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.

 

BUMP........

 

BUMP........

 

BUMP........

 

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster...........

 

BUMP........BUMP.......

 

 

BUMP........BUMP.......

 

 

BUMP........BUMP........

 

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......

 

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

 

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....to be continued

[Guest Ian & Carole]

continued

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

 

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind.

Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to

open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him.

 

He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair.

Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door.

 

The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its

rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door.

With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges....

 

To be continued

[Guest Ian & Carole]

He grabbed some Benalin cough mixture and threw it......

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

THE COFFIN STOPPED

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK I’ll get my coat.