15 Police Comments

[Guest vacinc]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

 

 

 

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll

stretch out after you wear them awhile."

 

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth

certificate a worthless document."

 

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

 

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you

didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired

from my gun."

 

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that

means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

 

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think

it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

 

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to

do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you

are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

 

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where

you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in

monkey DOO."

 

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife

gets a toaster oven."

 

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

 

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

 

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have

quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as

we want."

 

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal

friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post

your bail."

 

And............. THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

 

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right,we don't. Sign here."

[Guest docter fox]

how many have are local rhocar constabulary used?

[enforcer]

These are obviously American cops .... they've missed the no.1 in the UK - "Who do you think you are, Stirling Moss?"

 

Mind you this would mean nothing to the average Chav.

[Guest Dredd]

or, "You having trouble taking off sir?"

[Guest micky bigthumbs]

i was aked once if i had missed the runway.......after a good telling off i got back in my van then realised what he had said then sat laughing...

[Snapperpaul]

" Get out T' car Fangio" ( oop north), I did, I got b*ll*cked, I went away slowly

[Guest mark kingston]

My 17 year old son was on his way to Norfolk over the weekend when he passed a police van on the A12 with a motor cycle and patrol car parked next to it.

upon passing the motor cycle pulled out and pulled him over.

he was told that as the car was registered out of the county and he was a young driver they wanted to check that the car was not stolen.

He was well miffed but upon speaking to me soon calmed down when i pointed out that had his car been stolen he would have been very greatful to the police for recovering it.

i am glad to see the boys in blue are taking such a stance on crime prevention i just wish our boys in blue down here in sussex where so keen.

[Guest tom2b]

My friend got pulled over and the police officer came over "evening wing commander, having trouble leaving the ground tonight" after giving him a *bleep*ing he casually said, "nice wheels(pointing at the shiny alloys), dont let me see them going so fast again!" Atleast he had a sense of humour

 

my all time favourite was what the traffic copper said to me when me pulled me over one foggy evening "do you know why i pulled you over?" i replied no, "youve got your foglights on and its not foggy" i really lost my faith in traffic police at that exact moment

[Guest timswait]

"Who do you think you are, Stirling Moss?"

Apparently Stirling Moss has actually been asked that, took the officer by suprise when he recognised him!

[Guest Eric]

heard this one about a friend of a friend,(not sure how true it is though).

 

in rush to get home from a delivery job, early hours of the morning, raining cats and dogs!,considerably in excess of the speed limit.

 

blue lights behind,pulled over.

 

cop comes up to drivers window and tells him he has stopped him because there's something hanging from underneath the cab, tells driver to check his vehicle.

 

He has a quick look and can see nothing, not wanting to get to wet he goes to tell cop, who by this time is sitting back in the patrol car.

 

cop is adamant something is hanging from under the cab, tell's him it must be further under, and to look again.

 

this happens another two times until he's absolutely soaked through,returns to cop and tells him he can't find anything, maybe the officer should show him.

 

Traffic cop replys "No it's ok, it must just have been your foot through the floor, SLOW DOWN!, and on your way .

 

Suitably chastised, he made his way home at a more reasonable speed.

 

ek

[Guest tom2b]

Lol thats class, which all coppers had that sense of humour

[Guest docter fox]

[Guest Quarks7]

For my sins a number of years ago I was an SC (Part time plod)) and one eve whilst checking out a well known lovers lane. Myself and a colleauge came across a vehicle that was rocking like a good un. As we approached he said we should sneak up and put a torch each against the driver and passenger side windows then on a count of three switch them on at the same time.

 

An evil thing to do and I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face. When we were confronted with a young couple virtualy naked and the guy must have had a slow puncture cos she appeared to be trying to reinflate him

 

They were both obviously very embarrased but her excuse of "We were only necking officers!" was met with the only reply I could come up with on the spur of the moment "Ok madam but please put your boyfriends neck back in his trousers and move along!". A story for the Grandchildren when they'er old enough I guess