Tips For Your Boss

[BigLee]

Tickled me. ...

• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and then
  bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
  
• If it's really a "rush job", run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to
  inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me,
  advising me at every keystroke.
  
• Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a
  chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
  
• Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have
  been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living
  increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
  
• If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the
  priority. I like being a psychic.
  
• Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have
  nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
  
• If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could
  mean a promotion.
  
• If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular
  in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  
• If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In
  fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with
  useful information.
  
• Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know
  anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to
  them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  
• Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to
  know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about
  having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being
  such a good manager.
  

[Guest Andybarbet]

Hey, small world, you must work in the same company as i do !!

[Dave R]

printed out ready to be put on his desk in the mornin before he gets there