Bitta Bova - A Retrospective Chuckle

[Guest Brain Sell]

Bitta Bova - A Retrospective Chuckle

[Over three months have passed.]

ullow awl smee Brain init

See owyer git on wivis den ay

By popular demand, I shall now continue in "normal" English, which some might still have a struggle with.

So just imagine the cockney accent, OK?

Because if I wrote it phonetically, there'd be too much whinging.

 

And this is posted in this Humour forum (not Test, God forbid!), on the chance that some might join me for a laugh at the events of a couple of days in April.

Or I might succeed in winding up a few.

Good,eh?

Much time has passed, so this ain't a knee jerk response to events.

In fact most of this has been cobbled together, couple of minutes here, couple there, over a long time-span and reworked several times.

I, Brain Sell, have to rest my ageing and diminishing grey cells frequently, you see.

 

Looking back, it really makes me chuckle, the more I think about it.

For those who don't see the funny side of the situation, that says it all, really!

Tough!

I don't expect them to laugh at themselves, in the way I do at myself, frequently.

I also doubt "self-deprecating" is in their vocabulary.

And, although this is in the Humour forum, It would not surprise me if some Dementor gets the hump and deletes this.

If this "Bitta Bova" is deleted (there have been "what have I missed" comments in the past), then I can regurgitate it individually and PM it.

 

Aristophanes, apparently analysed humour.

But one man's joke is another's irritation, whatever philosophical stance is taken.

I suppose it would be interesting, if rather pointless, to analyse the lack of a sense of humour or even ascertain the levels at which different people perceive and acknowledge something as humorous.

Or in fact what makes some react in a very negative way to humour they either do not understand or find distasteful.

However, it is generally accepted that the breadth and depth of the appreciation is related to intellect; i.e. a genius can laugh at slap-stick, but a thicko does not get irony or other subtle forms of wit.

Another dimension is age, in that the older you are the greater potential exposure you have had to comedy and bathos.

Your reference points are wider and the “classics” (mainly comedy) of many decades are inherent.

Kiddies and thickos stop reading now, please, it'll only upset you, and any of your responses may make you look even thicker or generally more lacking.

Moi, condescending? Nah!

Supercilious? Definitely!

 

[[babies and Thickos gone yet?? Then I'll procede.]]

 

From 22nd to 24th April, 2012, a harmless bit of fun got some people worked up and they threw their dummies out of their prams (metaphorically, you understand).

Yep, three days it lasted, when I, as a fictitious, invented RHOCaR Community trespasser posted in the Test forum.

Big mistake; Test forum, serious stuff only there!

 

So, what of me, Brain Sell, the make-believe Eastender with the neuron shortage?

As the recalcitrant Brain Cell, I was never threatened with the dementors' kiss so had no cause to use the patronus charm, but after sustaining curses from fellow wizards and muggles, slunk off under an invisibility cloak, never to be seen again, well almost; 'cos I'm here now, ain't I.

 

But anyway, I seemed to have touched a few raw nerves with my phonetic gibberish.

And some even had the nerve to criticise me, whose own posts are generally of a low standard and quality.

One even asked the moderators to "BLOCK asap".

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at such a sad reaction to twaddle.

Poor old asap; bit like Bill Stickers will be prosecuted.

 

[[Anybody still reading? Jolly good.]]

 

What was it that wound them up?

Well, perhaps (but I doubt it!) some of you may have seen or read, or even heard of, the work of Alastair Ardoch Morrison (I'll be honest; I'd forgotten his name), who wrote as Al Terego and Afferbeck Lauder in the Sydney Morning Herald in the sixties.

He was a proponent of "strine".

Strine is the Australian equivalent of cockney, put simply, and the word "strine" is the way a strine speaker would say "Australian".

In order to present strine on paper, normal spelling and word breaks have to be distorted.

Obvious when you think about it; you can't really say "and now read this with a strong Australian accent" and type it correctly, can you?.

I applaud those of you who see "Al Terego", "Afferbeck Lauder" and "strine" for what they are.

To the rest of you - forget it; "WHOOOOOOOOSH!" as it passes overhead.

(in eristid en earie tizz - http://www.strine.org.uk/Dict.html)

 

In a similar vein, I attempted to present phonetically, "Cock Knee" for your delectation.

Wasted on some, or perhaps most.

Hard work, true, to both write and read.

The reaction was surprising, disappointing and in some ways far more childish than anything I spouted.

I believe that some thought it was a case of bad spelling!

Never mind!

I expect they were also the same contributors who don't know the difference between "their" and "there" or "where, wear, Ware, we're, weir, were or wore or whore (pardon Timothy!).

And as for "it's" and "its" or "too" and "to", which of course added together make "for" or "fore" or even "four".

 

[[i know of a few more who have given up reading this by now; if they even bothered.]]

 

They say you shouldn't laugh at your own jokes; I didn't need to; the small-minded negativity of the respondents gave me a free unexpected chuckle.

 

Well, which, if any, of the following reactions were justified, I ask.

 

UNDERSTANDING - it appears many didn't understand me; tough!

There is plenty of drivel posted that takes some understanding at times, but I don't notice a hostile reaction; and as for the general standard of grammar, spelling, punctuation, word use, etc. etc. not many seem to care, bother or even know.

The standard of English amongst the kids on here is no surprise, given the questionable ability of the average school leaver these days, but for some of the old gits to have a pathetic vocabulary is surprising; perhaps they too, only look at the pictures in the mags and books.

They appear to have a remarkable rapport with the weaners; short words and sentences and not more than three lines to digest.

 

Some, it seems, didn't want to understand me; fair enough, move on, don't read it!

Some may have understood me but didn't like it; again tough, move on.

Some were too lazy.

All good reasons to ignore it.

Don't they know how to skip a post, one wonders!

 

Phonetic cockney is in my blood; I woz brungup aht cider eee stenda lunnun wer nye, but lernda torque proprat gramers cool.

That shouldn't be too taxing to translate, but if I transcribe it correctly, it does somewhat loose the effect - I was brought up outside of the East End of London, wasn't I, but learned to talk properly at Grammar School.

I could only put over my native dialect the way I did.

Warren Mitchell, that brilliant Thespian, portrayed the Cockney Alf Garnett, and got the lingo off to a tee.

Maybe his scripts looked like my writing.

 

LENGTH - too much space wasted apparently.

Leave it out! (to use a colloquial expression)

I think you'll find the server allocation for RHOCaR gets consumed far quicker with photos than with huge text postings.

Ramblings and diatribes have never hitherto had so much as a tut-tut from moderators or the web master, although one has hinted he has trouble with anything more than about three lines.

So my few posts used an insignificant amount of storage.

Sheesh!

Well, I note that many topics are extended by follow-up postings that add nothing to the original but use up space.

Some can't resist the "me too" type of post.

For example, how is it that banal drivel, that can go on in a ping-pong like fashion, for several posts, is not criticised for waste of space, I wonder, especially as some should really be PM between individuals.

And how about "The 4 Word Story" thingy that is umpteen pages and hundreds of entries; harmless fun, but a little lacking in sophistication, shall we say!

Oh, and here's a space-saving idea many can use -

If you need to know something, type a couple of key words into Google instead of asking dumb questions in a forum.

I have seen some make the effort of formulating (maybe to grand a term for the actual words written) a question to find out the time or place or other details of a public event.

A two word google and all the information was clearly available.

Or why not take the trouble to search the fora for a heap of info already available on any given subject.

Ooooh, that should sting a few, but I doubt it.

Or was it that the attention span of some was being stretched beyond their limits?

God forbid that I should/could do that.

Too long, tough; move on.

 

[[bet those with this problem have not got this far! More than three lines.]]

 

All of which is by the bye.

 

WRONG FORUM - well, I didn't notice any wrist slapping by the dementors/moderators for using the Test forum; anyway I was just testing your collective sense of humour, and didn't that produce some very revealing results.

And as for off topic follow-ups and ignoring the "rules" of a forum or the site, give it a rest!

It is rife!

 

HUMOUR INVERSE SNOBBERY - I have seen reference here on the North South divide, but discrimination appears to exist on another dimension also.

It would seem that provincial (them what are not Londoners, basically) toilet humour is de riguer for the in-crowd of RHOCaR, but a Londoner with a modicum of sophistication (ho, ho, that's me!!) that might make you think a bit to get a chortle, must keep schtum!

I guess back slapping laughs, a few champion bum-cheek-lifting rippling f@rts, all being hilarious lads (or is that giggling girls?) together, camping at the shows, getting p¡$$ed, throwing up, is all OK, but a bit of literary (I did try) Cockney wit on the fora is a no-no.

 

[[Well done anyone who got this far. I salute you.]]

 

So, how come some humour seems to be frowned upon.

True, it would be boring if we were all the same; "shack urn @rse on goo", as Del Boy might say.

That may be a bit tricky for some to get being froggy-cockney : chacun à son goût; it's French, meaning "each to his taste".

I note there was no call to block or censor talk on willie sizes or frankly revolting displays of swimwear by those who should keep certain aspects hidden.

All of which I find hilarious, so would not wish it withdrawn.

I did, however, obliterate all that I had posted that caused offence (and much that didn't), mainly out of respect of others views.

And to save space [har, har].

May have been a loss to others, but there again, tough!

 

There you have it, a bunch of saddos, objected to a bit of harmless fun, placed in a forum not strictly reserved for a particular topic, on a web site that normally does not take itself too seriously.

Doh!

 

I, Brain (can never seem to spell Brian; oh, I did then), will now slink back into the shadows.

 

Now let's hear the piggies squeak!

Intelligible English preferred; and do keep it short!

[richardm6994]

me too

[Guest Brain Sell]

me too

 

+1

[Guest snotfart]

worth a bump i think.