Oh Thank You Halfords

[Snapperpaul]

NOT.

How can they possibly advertise this product with these claims.... and keep a straight face.

 

Universal for any vehicle. Increases torque at low and medium speeds, stabilises idling and improves engine kick-over. Improves engine response, fuel economy, battery life and audio quality and increases headlight brightness

 

I feel a sarcastic letter comming on.... will enquire into its ability to enlarge my genitalier, to reduce ageing and improve my bank balance...............What a load of Bolo.......... you know the rest.

 

40 quids worth of Cr..

[Guest Battery Bill]

Go on then Paul

 

But remember to print the reply, better still write the letter publish it on here and we can all copy and past it and then bombard them with emails ("Junk"Just like what they are trying to sell)

[Guest hypermick]

As Victor Meldrew would say,.......................................I DONT BELIEVE IT,..........................

and I dont believe anyone really would buy that product either.

 

What a horrible waste of a perfectly good useable little see through box.

 

 

 

 

Mick

[Peter Bell]

Wow! if it glows in the dark I might be tempted!

Peter.

 

Paul if you are the neighbor of the beast shouldn't you be 664 or 668? it has always worried me.

[Guest micky bigthumbs]

I got one..well not yet but i will now i've just seen that advert thanks paul

[E.Hunt]

will they supply free bulbs if they don't get any brighter

 

or should they plug it into the buyer and see if he gets any brighter

[Snapperpaul]

First draft will look at it again tommorow.

 

Dear Sir/Madam

As a regular customer of Halfords and a keen car enthusiast I would like to comment on a product that you advertise in a free advertorial that I received from you on my last visit. But first a few observations, Halfords has expanded it product range well in to the Look faster, Bling me up market and I understand the corporate need to move Halfords away from the back street spares shop image. For those that want shiney stuff that looks better than it goes or 2000 Watts of ear damage, fine, all power to your corporate elbow. I can still peruse the tools and off the shelf spares 7 days a week and know that I can get a hand brake cable whilst on holiday anywhere in the UK. I personally would not go for the “Crystal bonnet badge with LED or of course the matching Crystal accessories it would not go with my image ( I use swafega as a shower gell after shampooing with EP80).

Now to the item that has enraged me, off all the items listed in your advertorial, none of them make any claims on performance enhancement apart from some of the Air filter/intake kits, and the claims are modest and in my eyes reasonable,

however item 293340 the voltage stabiliser by “Inazumer” ( is that, put it in and

you will go Zoomier?) such outrageous claims I have not heard since

Doc Shirtlifters patent pile cream.

Copied from your advertorial “Universal for any vehicle. don’t they all have voltage stabilizers any way Increases torque at low and medium speeds How, stabilizes idling perhaps my cars idle is stable already and improves engine kick-over what in gods name is kick-over. Improves engine response is that the response once it has been kicked, fuel economy I doubt it, battery life now we are getting ridiculous and audio quality is there no end to the miracles this little box can do

and increase headlight brightness. Hallelujah, I can see the light (a little brighter now, thanks).

I am I must say appalled that you would claim so much for a box that will be shoved under the dash or melt under the bonnet, I also have grave doubts about how it will interact with modern and highly sensitive electronic systems in the modern car, can you imagine the devastation it could cause interfering with the various sensors.

I would expect to see voltage stabilizers (for this is the correct spelling) in your spares section not as a performance upgrade.

I personally would like to see this item removed from your catalogue as it and the wording that goes with it does your image and what you stand for no good whatsoever.

I look forward to your reply, no really I do.

 

Paul Kemp.

 

 

Paul if you are the neighbor of the beast shouldn't you be 664 or 668? it has always worried me.

 

Peter very good

[Guest hypermick]

Two little words should get the Halfords perpetrators ring piece twitching here I think,............................

 

 

Trading Standards.

 

 

 

Mick

 

 

(bet theyre nowhere to be seen soon )

[Grim]

Paul if you are the neighbor of the beast shouldn't you be 664 or 668? it has always worried me.

 

That would be next door neighbour of the beast

665 would still be neighbouring, albeit over the road!

 

 

Nice letter paul. That device looks even more useless than those electric superchargers, or power boost resisters!

[Guest crwoodford]

665 would still be neighbouring, albeit over the road!

Mmmm.. might live in a Cul-De-Sac? The numbers normally run consecutive?

 

But it would be very annoying having a neighbour with those extra bright headlights and improved audio

[Bob Tucker]

Surely "Improved audio" already means "Quieter Audio"????

[Mat-Moo]

I bet there are some magnets involved somewhere, magnets cure and make everything better!

[Snapperpaul]

Two little words should get the Halfords perpetrators ring piece twitching here I think,............................

 

 

Trading Standards.

 

Good point Hypermick, i will drop that in somewhere.

[eddieH]

Good letter Paul - I'd love to see the look on the face of the Halfords person who reads it!

Halfords have been going steadily downhill for the last few years. After some appalling customer service from them last year, I don't buy from them any more. I wouldn't hold your breath whilst waiting for a reply though - I contacted the manager of my local one and never heard back. Good luck though! Cheers,

 

Edward

[Guest crwoodford]

Surely "Improved audio" already means "Quieter Audio"????

Bob, that's a very valid point.... I strangely assumed it would mean louder for some reason?

 

<Col, looks out the office window at the beautiful Somerset Countryside and daydreams...>

 

<In Halfords>

'Yes Madam how can I help you'

'Erm.. my radio is not very loud'

'Let me see.. <sharp intake of breath> Mmmm... yes you need a new Inazuma Voltage Stabaliser'

'erm.. what will that do?'

'Well Madam amongst other things it will improve audio quality, I think we had some in yesterday'

'erm... how much will it cost?'

'Well fitting is free and the Inazuma itself costs £39.99, shall I go ahead? it wont take 2 minutes'

'Erm.... nah... I'll just get a new battery for my hearing aid'

'Righty Ho Madam... they are just along there at the end of aisle two'

 

<suddenly wakes...> Best get back to work then...

Cheers

Col (Taunton)